seven~

i am grateful for soft wet sensual kisses that go on all day. and for friends who take risks and are on adventures & for magic & pedicures with my baby girl while the boys shoot their bows & arrows. life is good.

six.

he calls me early, leaves me a message in a gravely, sleepy early-morning voice.

i was hoping to hear your voice this morning. he says, and pauses as if i could still pick up the phone. then a sigh followed by i love you. and he hangs up.

he's worried. nervous. away at lake cushman, he can't see my eyes, feel me.

later, at lunchtime, we talk. we both feel the connection, the trust and it's a release between us that is palpable.

you forget that you're not the only one who feels the other, elizabeth. he says, in that tone he has, the one where he is strong within himself and sure of us. the one i love. i sit in the closet, on the blue exercise ball and smile. i feel the moment, let it seep in: our lifelong love.

twenty-five years with you, babe. i know you.

and that, is my moment of gratitude today ♥

day 5...

today i loved my freedom.

i loved that Mimi came home unexpectedly.

i loved talking to my girlfriends on the phone, conference call, all four of us.

i loved my dreams when i woke up.

i loved watching Bedtime Stories with my bubbies, it was magical & fun & funny.

♥

love - day 4 of gratitude.

i am grateful for love.

loving what is around me. whether it is bad or good doesn't matter - it is all in my perception of it & i choose, here and now, to see the good in everything i create in my reality.

and, i am grateful for...

delicious homemade no-bake cookies & a latte.


the way the sun, when it sets, looks thru my beautiful trees.


sweet baby birds outside my little girl's window, waiting for breakfast.

8-3. yes yes yes!

today i am grateful for my little girl who dressed up like a rainbow. really, what could be more magical & playful & beautiful than that?

i am grateful for the lessons i learn from my children -all of them- every day!!

i love the sweet imaginative thoughts of a magical cottage by the sea ... it is in my heart of hearts and i feel it coming closer all the time.

i am grateful for spaghetti sauce with my son (his fave) "Mom, your sauce just keeps getting better and better every time! How do you do that?" ♥ (my sunshine is love)

and finally, i am glad that my man gets to work here tomorrow & can wake up next to me and not rush off ... and that we get to be together tomorrow night again, yay :)

Aug 2 - sunshine.

i am grateful today from the heart...

for my man & i and our texts back & forth about how we know we are soul mates & thanking each other for both the good times and the bad times, for everything we've given each other has led to growth, expansion, more love. i am not only grateful for this man, i am lucky.

for the delicious breaky my son & hub made us all this morning of delectable spinach-bacon-white american omelettes and belgian waffles made by my son's newest imaginary friend Tritan.

and for our scrumptious evening meal of bbq tri-tip, falling apart & savory with fresh green beans, multi-grain french loaf, a big salad with walnuts & craisins and champagne vinaigrette and wine.

for my little girl & how she loves her dog, even giving her a pair of 3D glasses to wear to watch Coraline with :)



and finally, for the glorious sunshine that has been pouring down upon us lately. it is warm & cheerful and i love it!

August. 31 days of gratitude.

i LOVE my life. i have been feeling my way thru tangled weeds & beautiful gardens and have decided that i love both. they both teach me something. they both make me grow. there is no bad or good, there only is LIFE.

this month, a month that has been in my dreams & visions for a while now, is finally here. AUGUST. bright, big A the letters are in red. they are neon & shiney & full of action & love. they are calling me. i am listening...

every day, i will write about what i am grateful for. i will melt into August & become one with ME.

***

today, i am grateful for the glorious sunshine, the summertime giddiness, the many shades of green the sun & shadows paint onto the trees outside my window.

i am grateful for my son's imagination - how he now has an identical twin brother named Titan to visits us often. the only difference between Bub & Titan is that Titan wears some rockin sunglasses. hahaha, this makes me giggle.

i am grateful for my husband, home for a few days, working on building skateboards for our daughter's boyfriends. his presence here is beautiful to me, i am in love...still.

♥

feeling.

i am opening up to the feeling
inside of me.
letting it come
like waves
if need be.
there is beauty
in every curve and crash.
in my heart, i crave
excitement & movement
and yet
i wait.
what am i really waiting for?
the perfect moment?
which is funny
because i know
i KNOW
in my heart of hearts
that each moment is perfection
and holds a space for me
if i am wanting it.
if i am aware.
and then i think
well if that is true
then where i am and what i'm doing
right now
is right
its perfect.
the wait, the calm before the storm
is what is supposed to be happening.
the not knowing what comes next
is trust.
surrender.
why is that so hard for us?
because this is what is so clear to me:
we are those things deep down.
we are little floating light orbs, burning brightly
knowing that the next moment holds miracles
magic
love
and we let it come
in whatever form it deems right.
we don't question or have fear or doubt
we just flow with it.
i want to delve deep
into everything that i am
and let this be okay.
whatever it is, it's okay.
beautiful.
♥

change.

to move or not to move? that is the question.

i am leaning more & more to moving. selling the house and being open to what is to come. this year marks 20 years here in December. that's a lifetime of my children, the only home they remember. our memories are in the walls & whisper in the evergreen branches outside my window. right now, it is US. filled with our family and our thoughts our feelings and our secrets. but it's just a place. it is not the people or the memories themselves. we can have that anywhere we all are, and it's okay to yearn for more. it's okay to move on to other things in other places. we just need to release & allow.

release & allow. my new mantra.

there are beautiful glorious exciting joyful things in the unknown. in the new. in the freedom. let's fly ... together.

***

watching MJ's memorial on tv this morning. i didn't realize it was today, but i woke up with his songs in my head. one of my usual premonitions of what the day ahead will hold. (i am seriously loving that more & more).

it's amazing how many people gather together for this one man: collective love is a beautiful thing.

***

my heart is open. my wings are drying. i'm ready.

dreamland.

dreamland. soft halcyon haze. soft kiss on my lips, my eyes are still closed. he brings his face into my pillow.
wanna make love? he whispers.
i breathe in his scent and start to stretch my arms around him.
*ping* {the cell phone, getting a text}: i love you wife, hope you have a wonderful day

i love how connected we are, even when we are far apart.

***

laying there, i close my eyes. i feel my day ahead. i always get messages then. they easily pop thru the veil & i love connecting with my inner self like that. it's very synchronous and flowy and open. i got: my day = love. and truth comes thru mystery. i felt myself floating in a lake of warm pink water looking up at cotton candy clouds in a beautiful pink sky. soothing comforting love.

things are really chill right now. i am enjoying it. looking forward to our lake trip. family togetherness and fun. my favorite thing. i am really loving me lately. i like the way i look & feel. i like the sunshine and warmth and my tan skin. i like my intuition and creativity. floating thru summertime like a dream. i like it here in dreamland. i think i'll stay for a while...

♥