thank you, 2009, what a great year!

here's to more beauty, love, laughter, creativity & joy in 2010 :)
cheers!
♥

a taste of holiday madness ❤

Christmas vacations are always amazing ... here's a little smattering of ours.

from our home to yours, warm loving joyful holiday wishes ♥

it's beginning to feel a lot like christmas

last week, i went to Bub AND Pea's classes to help with gingerbread houses. it was so much fun! those little stinkers are all so creative and i was amazed at their unique ideas and how no two houses looked the same. all those kiddos totally filled my heart with joy and their raw honest happiness in the moment.

we are heading east ... hopefully into white snow-covered terrain to celebrate the holidays with family. lots of screaming kids and happy adults and amazing food and fun games. i'm excited :)

LoveMuffins...

my darling friend Penelope made her own batch of muffins this morning

and totally inspired me to make some similar ones: sour cream muffins with cranberries & chocolate chips. sprinkled generously with sugar and topped with melting butter.

tell me you can't taste that melting in your mouth! mmm. and according to her, love has no calories ♥

chocolate on chocolate

what more could you ask for?

baking makes me happy.

***

lately, i have been observing things around me. i know everything surrounding me is reflecting something to me, it just depends on where my attention goes. my girl friend told me that if you linger on something for 17 seconds or more, it definitely has meaning. it's just up to you to interpret that. i'm finding it so much fun to observe my surroundings, me.

i am taking stock of my feelings, the way they slowly bubble up or *bam* are just there, burning flaming, gripping the whole of me.

i am so blessed to have such amazing friends. they teach me so much. as do my daughters. i love the way i have surrounded myself recently with these beings of light, who do not hesitate to radiate their truth and hearts with such grace. we are all finding our way, but it is so much easier to do it together. knowing i have this fills me with gratitude.

***

i pull my legs up under me in a butterfly, and slide my white notebook onto my lap. next to me, in his torn levis and jean-colored waffle shirt, he reaches for me with one hand and eats a cookie with the other. always touching, it's something that we do naturally, even if it's only our feet. Bub and Pea spread out next to us, and laugh infeciously at the Grinch's little dog with the branch in his head. Bub makes popcorn and the pup tries to eat it. Pea wiggles incessantly and for me, time slows down a little. i stop and let it fill me. this moment, a snapshot of my life, perfect in its imperfection.

what more could you ask for?
♥

a few of my favorite things...

find things that inspire you
see things to appreciate
feel the joy of this moment
know the fullness of your heart
♥

journal pages...true breathings of my heart.

i feel like my voice is stuck inside my throat lately. i have so much i want to let out, but there it stays. so i draw and i read and i bake. i play with the littles. i take pictures. i look back on old journal pages and read other blogs for inspiration. sometimes, as i read, tears just flow. i feel the resonance. it is that - right there - the conjoining of souls that happens when we share true bits of ourselves that touches me so deeply. our stories overlap and weave together and that? is love.

...a love like that.

appreciation

our turkey was delicious. the games were hilarious & fun. the gussying up & getting ready & taking of family photos was a little touch & go. the laying on the couch, piled on top of each other, so full we could hardly breathe & watching movies was perfect. the pies & fudge were divine. our day was magnifique!

appreciation appreciation appreciation ♥

~*~hope everyone had a fabulous thanksgiving~*~

i want to write.

i want to write. i want to bare my soul. i want to flow when i sit here in front of this blank white page with the line, blinking at me, pulsating, waiting...

my dreams are alive lately. i have been paying attention to them and they are just as real as my waking life is. they synch together, one plays off of the other always and in all ways. i am awake in my dreams now, the way i am awake in my life. it's so powerful. i trust them, that they are windows into my soul and that they tell me things, whispered in vanilla clouds and through flashes of light. my intuition grows daily. i follow my feelings, my guidance. i trust me.

***

cupcakes. chocolate whip on top of moist chocolate in little white cups. they sit cooling on the rack in front of the kitchen window; the ones we didn't eat while frosting them, that is. the winter chill is here early this year. blustery weather that makes you want to hybernate. but it is warm and homey in here, we are blessed. Bub & Pea went with me to Target today for clay & paints and the cupcake stuff found its way into the cart. the clay creations are drying in the oven, but Bub & Pea don't want to wait for them to dry, they just want to paint. it's funny how children need to move from thing to thing to thing. when do we grow out of that? maybe we don't and we just try to force ourselves into something we're not.

my children tell me stories while we drive and bake and create. i fall into the abyss of the moment. just being. it feels amazing and magical. they are my teachers and i honor them. all five of them, and my man; not just a family, but a soul family. my dream life of days past, i am living it now. and it's not like anything has changed in the physical sense. we just see the magic now. our eyes are open to the miracles around us. our hearts are open.

thankful.

lemon pie.

perfect for a grey rainy day...

magic all around
the light
the sounds
the breathings of my heart
my feelings
make me soar
they take me to places unknown
there is a place deep inside my belly
that glows
the embers never die
they await the next moment
i am awake
to this moment
this magic
this bliss
this wonder
fire
blazing
in my soul

let your light shine.

~*~

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.
~Marianne Williamson

~*~

what really matters

sometimes
a wake up call comes
in disguise
and with that
comes feelings flooding in
knowing & reflecting
and then looking at things
from a totally different perspective
a paradigm shift
and then after everything clears
and you can take a breath again
everything becomes so
crystal clear
to
what really matters
love

time

i don't know
time
what does it mean
i feel like it is
fragile
because the way we perceive it
is fragile
like we need to hold on
and the moving of it
scares us
i want to embrace it
love it
with my whole heart
because love
is my magic wand
pulling it into me
becoming one
understanding
weaving
grateful
then letting it slip thru
the swirling light flutters
uncapturable
free
rippling outward
and then whooshing back inward
my heart
expands
and finally
i understand
i woud not change
a single moment
of this magicalness
wrapped up
in the bubble
of time
♥

ciao, summer.

There are no good-byes,
where ever you'll be,
you'll be in my heart.
~Mahatma Gandhi

the bubbies headed back to school today. they looked so adorable this morning, all dressed & ready & eating their Lucky Charms, sleep in their eyes. shy in the car as i dropped them off, and my son~always the loving one~kisses me goodbye as i tell them to have a fantabulous first day. driving away, my heart lurched a little, thinking of the quote above...

then later, all excited when they arrived home again, all disheveled, laces undone, hair flying everywhere, talking a mile a minute about their days. the dog jumping all over them & me getting a snack & putting their backpacks away...

the return of chaos sounds so good after a day of silence.

and these are the moments i treasure about being a mom ♥

day 31 of 31 days.

good bye, Appreciation August.

you were such a lovely month ♥

Mimi came today & we laughed & talked & went to the store for Bub and Pea's school supplies. 2 sets of rulers, crayons, #2pencil-sets, erasers, tissue boxes, paper, tablets, markers, etc. and $60.00 later, we come home & pack back packs. tomorrow i'll do their last-minute laundry & then Wed, they start their school year.

later on, when Andy got home, we ate dinner out as a family. meatball pizza. eggplant parmesiana. italian sodas. red-checkered table cloths. a candle in a chianti bottle, wax dripping all over it. family chatter. laughter, sharing, harmony. i have such love & appreciation for every bit of it :)

we no longer have a vehicle that holds all of us, so we took my little car & Andy and Muffy rode on the motorcycle. we tried to race them home. it didn't happen. LOL. it was fun playing that maybe we could tho. Bub & Pea were wild little indians in the way home in the backseat the way they always are any time we feed them. little nuts. i loved every minute of it.

now, after another wonderful day & an awesome month focusing on all the great things in my life, i sit here in bed, cute little white notebook in my lap while my hun watches Planet Earth on Discovery next to me, pup & bubbies in their beds, big girls having sister-chat downstairs, and i think to myself ... what a wonderful world ♥

beauty of life

i love all the beauty around me :)

we went to see my brother & his adorable wife today. had a fabulous time. the girls went for a walk after the delish dinner of homemade ribs:

Pea was walking down this amazingly magical path. beautiful :)

then we caught this magnificent sunset from the ferry~

my heart breathes

Wisdom tells me I am nothing.
Love tells me I am everything.
Between the two,
my life flows.
♥
-Sri Nisargadatta

i am so glad that my man is not working away anymore.
we both are.
but we are grateful, still.
during that time apart, we learned so much.
mainly, that We Don't Like Being Apart.
***
our little ones
start school again next week.
i know it's inevitable
but i so love summertime
and their laughter
and their messes
and their art & dreams & imagination & play.
it fills me & expands me
i am so blessed.
i will miss their beingness
here with me.
***
i'm going to try
to sell the house
& start to pack
for our new life,
my dreams,
my reality...
becoming one.
cheers!
♥

i live in an amazing place...

LaPush Beach...

smorgasbord of savoryness

i love yummy food...

homemade bread, steaming hot, with butter melting on it


delicious homemade mac&cheese with chorizo, it's such a cheesy, spicey combo!


i made this tomato pie with fresh tomatoes, it is the most melt-in-your-mouth goodness i have had in a looongg time.



and the final touches: beautiful flowers from my soul sister & delicious beer straight from the brewery...