breathings of my heart: February 2010

2.14.2010

2.11.2010

i have been searching for what it is that calls my heart, that speaks to my soul, that fulfills my life and the lives of others. and then today, in the halcyon haze, i hear soft whisper, right now ... it's all perfect right now. and i laugh. i believe in divine orchestration, in divine timing in everything. i believe that my life is this magical canvas and i can see how sparkly it all is. i truly can. and yet, i try to push sometimes. i've always been one to color outside the lines. i know i am not the person people thought i would be, but i am me. and i love who i am. i love every choice i have made. and so of course, of course right now is what it's supposed to be. i love where i am. i am in bloom.
♥

2.08.2010

ready

my heart is crying out. i feel like my senses are all on hyper mode. i think i am walking myself to another cliff edge, ready to make this big leap into my life. like really, really delving into what my life purpose is. i want to be living my dharma, what i can GIVE to the world. i want to delve into amazing crevasses of creativity and love, i want to spread these things like seeds and watch them grow. i have been content in learning and in my inner growth, but now, that seems to be no longer enough. i want so badly to know what it is that *I* am here for, what *I* can do in my unique authentic way to bring more love, joy, harmony, creativity, passion, excitement & action into my life & the lives of others. tears stream down my face, i am so ready.
i am so ready
i am so ready
i am
♥

2.04.2010

sharing My Story, the new beginning:

i am feeling such HUGE shifts, it's almost hard to put into words...

in the past, i have definitely felt like the U is talking to me in so many ways: songs, billboards, tv shows, videos, stuff like that. i know that when i am connected, i am led to see more love, more great things, more beauty. i also know what i have been learning for these past 2 years has been engulfing me & my life. i know my life is my mirror.

BUT ~ now, there has been a shift that is palpable in the last week or so.

it's hard to explain, the difference is such a fine line, but it has gone from knowing this stuff & doing things that reflect it to actually becoming it. it does not filter through my head anymore, it comes straight from my heart - at least most of the time now. before it just came in snippets, but all of a sudden, one morning i woke up & things were different: i went through a porthole, i had a quantum moment, and i am changed forever.

and now, everything around me is alive. Every Thing. it ALL talks to me. it all leads me to an even deeper knowing, understanding, feeling. i truly feel like water. like an open vessel.

i have been volunteering with the little kids doing art, omg, that has definitely been a part of my shift, the are so beautiful & free and i love giving myself to them. and i am writing, i am stepping into my life, my story, i am living on purpose, i am finding something every single day that scares me & that i know will affect others in a positive way. my heart grows.

the other day, because my 2 older girls are each going through things that are challenging right now, i invited them over. i had my other daughter there too. so Rosie, Mimi & Muffy were all here & before i even got them from the ferry, i spread love from my heart all around my house, on the way to pick them up, i set my intentions to flow love & be clear & that everything would go beautifully and for the highest good of all. when they were here, i gave them all moleskine journals and told them to write - to write how they want to be; how they see themselves in 6 months. as they did, i baked cookies & told them stories of my visions. of how i see us all by the sea, in a magical place, all of us, doing something that helps to elevate the planet, all of us giving from our unique selves. then, i did tarot readings for them all. my readings are a mixture of the cards, my intuition, my flow of love & i try to connect them to their inner power. i share my visions of how i see them, which is perfect & beautiful and omg, shining so incredibly brightly that its almost insane. i told them that part of the reason we are all stagnant & some of us feeling icky is because we have been putting off Our Stories. and that i want to step into my life again and have it be a story worth telling. i want it to be epic. i want to FEEL life and i see them doing the same thing. i shared some beautiful stories i had recently read & had them share some of their visions for their own stories.

O.M.G.! the power of that day has been reverberating throughout all of us since then.

each day, i feel better than the last, i wake up saying THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU - from a place so deep in my soul, i didn't even know it existed. i see so clearly how we are all connected in this tapestry, i see that my story flows into the bigger story. i bring love into everything i do.