day 31 of 31 days.

good bye, Appreciation August.

you were such a lovely month ♥

Mimi came today & we laughed & talked & went to the store for Bub and Pea's school supplies. 2 sets of rulers, crayons, #2pencil-sets, erasers, tissue boxes, paper, tablets, markers, etc. and $60.00 later, we come home & pack back packs. tomorrow i'll do their last-minute laundry & then Wed, they start their school year.

later on, when Andy got home, we ate dinner out as a family. meatball pizza. eggplant parmesiana. italian sodas. red-checkered table cloths. a candle in a chianti bottle, wax dripping all over it. family chatter. laughter, sharing, harmony. i have such love & appreciation for every bit of it :)

we no longer have a vehicle that holds all of us, so we took my little car & Andy and Muffy rode on the motorcycle. we tried to race them home. it didn't happen. LOL. it was fun playing that maybe we could tho. Bub & Pea were wild little indians in the way home in the backseat the way they always are any time we feed them. little nuts. i loved every minute of it.

now, after another wonderful day & an awesome month focusing on all the great things in my life, i sit here in bed, cute little white notebook in my lap while my hun watches Planet Earth on Discovery next to me, pup & bubbies in their beds, big girls having sister-chat downstairs, and i think to myself ... what a wonderful world ♥

beauty of life

i love all the beauty around me :)

we went to see my brother & his adorable wife today. had a fabulous time. the girls went for a walk after the delish dinner of homemade ribs:

Pea was walking down this amazingly magical path. beautiful :)

then we caught this magnificent sunset from the ferry~

my heart breathes

Wisdom tells me I am nothing.
Love tells me I am everything.
Between the two,
my life flows.
♥
-Sri Nisargadatta

i am so glad that my man is not working away anymore.
we both are.
but we are grateful, still.
during that time apart, we learned so much.
mainly, that We Don't Like Being Apart.
***
our little ones
start school again next week.
i know it's inevitable
but i so love summertime
and their laughter
and their messes
and their art & dreams & imagination & play.
it fills me & expands me
i am so blessed.
i will miss their beingness
here with me.
***
i'm going to try
to sell the house
& start to pack
for our new life,
my dreams,
my reality...
becoming one.
cheers!
♥

i live in an amazing place...

LaPush Beach...

smorgasbord of savoryness

i love yummy food...

homemade bread, steaming hot, with butter melting on it


delicious homemade mac&cheese with chorizo, it's such a cheesy, spicey combo!


i made this tomato pie with fresh tomatoes, it is the most melt-in-your-mouth goodness i have had in a looongg time.



and the final touches: beautiful flowers from my soul sister & delicious beer straight from the brewery...

gratitude fills my heart

day 24.

today, i have no words, no words for how grateful i am to have these 2 people in my life...



my pop, a genius, and yet just a man...i love that i have known him all my life and have seen all sides of him. he is an amazingly diverse person, so much fun to talk to & hear how his mind works. he is the most open and generous person you could ever meet. my pop "gets it" he always has - even if he tries to pretend sometimes that he doesn't. he is brilliant at everything he tries and i am so blessed to have his blood flowing thru mine.

and my beautiful-in-every-way (step)mom, whom we all love indescribably ... she is such a tiny person, but her heart is humongous. she is always smiling, she is hilarious, generous, open, loving, understanding ~ just so much fun and she & my father make the perfect pair. i am so glad they have each other.

and i am beyond grateful to have them both. i love you, pop & jodee!

magical cottage by the sea...

today, i visited the cutest most magical sweet cottage by the water...



and, my friend Tracy is going to move there next month! i'm so excited! we're going to have a shop together. i'm selling our house & we're going to get a shop and i'm going to have my very own magical cottage by the sea that i have been dreaming of for years now.



i am grateful for my dreams ... coming true ♥

happy birthday, baby

day 22...

i feel so much love in my soul for this man.



he has been the best partner, husband, lover, soulmate, father of my babies, best friend anyone could ever ask for. thru thick & thru thin, high & low and everything in between. i love him more than i can express...and so do all of his beautiful children. i love this pic of him, happy in the midst of all of us, making us laugh even in all the chaos...



today, we spent the day where NO ONE (who doesn't have a pocket full of cash) wants to spend their birthdays....at the car dealership dealing with them over our dead dinosaur suburban. but he stayed calm & made me smile. thank you - for being you. YOU are my ONE THING & i am grateful for you beyond words :)

happy birthday, babe.

days 20&21

& love fills my heart. my friend Tracy & some of her family is here and it's so much fun! even when we wait 2 hours for dinner on Thursday night and our truck breaks down going to LaPush to play on the werewolf beach on Friday (which was awesome, even if we all squeezed into T's mountaineer like sardines).

i know that in everything there is meaning & a miracle, and there is appreciation for that.

day 22 is my man's birthday & another 2 hour drive back to our dead truck (which is going to be too expensive to fix this time) & figuring out what to do from there...

wish us luck, thanks :)

my 19th day in gratitude...

and i'm feeling really great, just letting the feeling of appreciation flow through me...

i love love love seeing between the lines & i feel like i am really coming into my own. i see & feel really cool things on the horizon.

Muffy comes home tonight from the Land of Enchantment! we have missed her, it'll be great to see her beautiful face & hug her :)

Bub & Pea love riding around the 'hood flying free.





aahhh, to be a kid again!

flowers & Tracy

i planted beautiful flowers into the earth with my littlest daughter. our hands were dirty & we were sweaty in the sunshine. it felt wonderful.

then Bub, Pea & i met my sweet friend Tracy. she brought me fresh colorful eggs, rose quartz crystals & sensuous incense.



we met her in Poulsbo & there was shoe-shopping, huge donut-eating, Lev beer sharing,



wonderful chat with her & her children while mine flittered around us. then we had dinner by the waterfront, tide was way in, the sky was sunny and clear.

after taking her to the ferry, Bub & Pea & i stopped to admire the glorious sunset down the street from our home.



such a busy & joyful day.

3 beauties

these gorgeous girls amaze me. every day i am grateful for each one of them and the gifts they bring to my life. we look at them and can't believe how fast time has flown, how much they've grown & how much they've taught us in their unique ways. they are so much more than each of us are alone - we are so grateful they chose us as their parents...

{{16}}

{sixteen has always been my favorite number}

today my son & i went to the store. he asked me if i believed in dreams. i told him that i do & he said i believe that dreams come true too, mom. and he told me about a dream before we went to the lake where he dreampt he was a whale. and then we got to spectacle lake & he was in the lake and felt exactly like he did in the dream as a whale and he stayed in the water extra long.

i love these conversations with Bub, he is so cute and always asks me the coolest questions. he asks if i liked being a kid and why, what was my favorite thing about it. he asks if i thought my imagination could think up things that could happen in real life. he asks what i think is the most important thing in life.

in this particular conversation, we talked for a while about our dreams and then i told him that i dreampt of him and here he is. {which is true, i did dream of a dark-haired, brown-eyed baby boy many times when i was pregnant with him, and even before he was conceived} and he answered, when i was in your tummy, i dreampt of having a wonderful family, and look at me now! beaming up at me, beautiful brown chocolate pie eyes gleaming.



look at me now.

{i am SO lucky & so so so appreciative of my life & moments like this.}

fifteen...

this was a day of friendships.

powerful things come from feeling joyful, loved, sharing, connecting.

my girlfriends who i consider sisters and i have been really, really having fun lately! i ♥ them & am so appreciative of the connection we have with each other and how it all came about (very, very intuitively & magically & a tad bid "out there" LOL).

later, my man & i went to a party & took bub & pea. we all had a really nice time connecting with friends over yummy bbq, shared salads, birthday cake.

our life is very magical right now, and i am loving every delicious moment of it!

fourteen days of feeling good

appreciation, appreciation, appreciation...

i hear it whispered in my ear in a voice that is familiar & full of energy, the energy that life is made of. swirling in my head before i even wake up. my body feels electric on the inside, very alive. i love feeling this strong wave of appreciation flow through me, in & out as it pleases, i am just the vessel. open to all is wellness.

mmm.

i won $5.00 on a scratch ticket today - Bub & Pea love to do them (even though they're not supposed to push the buttons on the machine, lol - but they are magic & they always win). then Bub opened his box of Gushers & we won another $5.00 on a Discover gift card! w00t! so much fun.

so then we all went to dinner at the little Mexican joint down the street. margaritas were the perfect topper to this day. afterward, my hun & i sat out on our patio talking animatedly about everything in our hearts. our life? is really, really nice.

thank you :)

Aug 13th. this month is flying by~

i live through my heart & that alone is an entire blog post, but for now, i am so grateful for these little things in my life right NOW...

*my hunky hot hubster is laying next to me. it feels comfortable, easy, harmonic & like love. 2 more weeks of him working away during the week, we have both learned so much. mostly, that we don't like being apart ;)

*my bubbies are lying in the twin beds in Bub's room, sleeping together because Pea's curtain rod fell off the wall. i love hearing their little whispery voices, it reminds me of when my brother Billy & i used to sleep together and whisper into the night about everything under the sun.

*and lastly, for delicious chocolate chip oatmeal cake that is to die for and a steamy hot rich cup of coffee made by my man.

day 12. The Best Juice Ever.

my son, dirty disheveled and beautiful, smelling like wet puppy in the August humidity, bounds in happily out of breath.

try this, mom. he says and hands me a plastic juicy-juice bottle with dark goo stuck to the side and purply juice inside of it. his hands are dirty and stained, like his little boy mouth--always something on it, always. i look at him and ask what it is and before i can finish, he pushes the bottle toward me and says, try it!

he smiles at me as i lift the bottle, goo-side out, to my lips and blackberry slides across my tongue. isn't it good, mom? he asks as he leans his dark head way in to see the juice actually hit my lips.

yes, son. i answer, smiling at him, exchanging trust between our eyes, and love from mother to son, and a million other things in one flash of a second.

he tells me that he squished blackberries and added water and made his own juice. The Best Juice Ever. he is so proud as he bops back outside to his sister and his friends.

it really IS the small things...my heart is full & i am grateful.

what happened on the 11th that should have been on the 12th....

11. eleven. 11. such a magical number ~ i love it!

so today, my real estate guru came at 1pm. AND, i had her scheduled for tomorrow at one. surprise, surprise! but she was here today, all excited and ready to go & thankfully Mimi helped me pick up around here yesterday, so it was fine. it was actually probably perfect - i mean, why else would it have happened like that?

so, we meet again in a few days & go over everything and sign a contract with her if we wanna go ahead with this whole thing. and i do. i really feel so out of here already. it's TIME.

i'm excited. i'm scared. i'm nervous. i'm ready for what's next.

Pea, however, actually physically teared up while she was here, looking over the house. little nut. it's everything she's always known. i understand how she feels. my whole married life is here, my children, their babyhoods, their growing-ups, their lives happened here too.

but today? today, i am grateful for surprises and for this wonderful home, and for new beginnings...

ten.

bye sweetheart~see you on Thursday night. i love you ♥

the ninth day of gratitude...

i am grateful for this smile


and this inquisitive look


this crazy poopster



and a lovely sunday evening walk with my girls, the 4 of us, laughing and talking & sharing a perfect slice of bliss.

8-8-09. day eight.

we got a letter today from Omar, our little boy in Africa, who we have sponsored for a couple years now. he is so precious & grateful to us, someday i hope to meet him. he is Bub's age exactly, they share a birthday, but his little brow is always furrowed in his pictures. i wish for him peace and love and joy. he seems happy and loves school. he wants to be a teacher. i will write him back and tell him that he already is, for us.

i am grateful for this day, for date night tonight, for everything we have, all of our comforts, but most of all, for what is most important - for each other & for love.

the sunsets here are glorious over the evergreens & the mountains & the water.
we are blessed.

seven~

i am grateful for soft wet sensual kisses that go on all day. and for friends who take risks and are on adventures & for magic & pedicures with my baby girl while the boys shoot their bows & arrows. life is good.

six.

he calls me early, leaves me a message in a gravely, sleepy early-morning voice.

i was hoping to hear your voice this morning. he says, and pauses as if i could still pick up the phone. then a sigh followed by i love you. and he hangs up.

he's worried. nervous. away at lake cushman, he can't see my eyes, feel me.

later, at lunchtime, we talk. we both feel the connection, the trust and it's a release between us that is palpable.

you forget that you're not the only one who feels the other, elizabeth. he says, in that tone he has, the one where he is strong within himself and sure of us. the one i love. i sit in the closet, on the blue exercise ball and smile. i feel the moment, let it seep in: our lifelong love.

twenty-five years with you, babe. i know you.

and that, is my moment of gratitude today ♥

day 5...

today i loved my freedom.

i loved that Mimi came home unexpectedly.

i loved talking to my girlfriends on the phone, conference call, all four of us.

i loved my dreams when i woke up.

i loved watching Bedtime Stories with my bubbies, it was magical & fun & funny.

♥

love - day 4 of gratitude.

i am grateful for love.

loving what is around me. whether it is bad or good doesn't matter - it is all in my perception of it & i choose, here and now, to see the good in everything i create in my reality.

and, i am grateful for...

delicious homemade no-bake cookies & a latte.


the way the sun, when it sets, looks thru my beautiful trees.


sweet baby birds outside my little girl's window, waiting for breakfast.

8-3. yes yes yes!

today i am grateful for my little girl who dressed up like a rainbow. really, what could be more magical & playful & beautiful than that?

i am grateful for the lessons i learn from my children -all of them- every day!!

i love the sweet imaginative thoughts of a magical cottage by the sea ... it is in my heart of hearts and i feel it coming closer all the time.

i am grateful for spaghetti sauce with my son (his fave) "Mom, your sauce just keeps getting better and better every time! How do you do that?" ♥ (my sunshine is love)

and finally, i am glad that my man gets to work here tomorrow & can wake up next to me and not rush off ... and that we get to be together tomorrow night again, yay :)

Aug 2 - sunshine.

i am grateful today from the heart...

for my man & i and our texts back & forth about how we know we are soul mates & thanking each other for both the good times and the bad times, for everything we've given each other has led to growth, expansion, more love. i am not only grateful for this man, i am lucky.

for the delicious breaky my son & hub made us all this morning of delectable spinach-bacon-white american omelettes and belgian waffles made by my son's newest imaginary friend Tritan.

and for our scrumptious evening meal of bbq tri-tip, falling apart & savory with fresh green beans, multi-grain french loaf, a big salad with walnuts & craisins and champagne vinaigrette and wine.

for my little girl & how she loves her dog, even giving her a pair of 3D glasses to wear to watch Coraline with :)



and finally, for the glorious sunshine that has been pouring down upon us lately. it is warm & cheerful and i love it!

August. 31 days of gratitude.

i LOVE my life. i have been feeling my way thru tangled weeds & beautiful gardens and have decided that i love both. they both teach me something. they both make me grow. there is no bad or good, there only is LIFE.

this month, a month that has been in my dreams & visions for a while now, is finally here. AUGUST. bright, big A the letters are in red. they are neon & shiney & full of action & love. they are calling me. i am listening...

every day, i will write about what i am grateful for. i will melt into August & become one with ME.

***

today, i am grateful for the glorious sunshine, the summertime giddiness, the many shades of green the sun & shadows paint onto the trees outside my window.

i am grateful for my son's imagination - how he now has an identical twin brother named Titan to visits us often. the only difference between Bub & Titan is that Titan wears some rockin sunglasses. hahaha, this makes me giggle.

i am grateful for my husband, home for a few days, working on building skateboards for our daughter's boyfriends. his presence here is beautiful to me, i am in love...still.

♥