finding my voice

so here's where i am right now...

i know there is something here, right here, that i am on the brink of. but still, i have no idea what it is. which sounds hilarious, really. because in truth, we DO know what lives inside of us that deeply wants to get out. we DO know our innermost pleasures and secrets that are dying to get out. but there's something - something - that keeps holding me away from knowing it. why?

the answer lays waiting in the whys...

i do know that i love to write. and i love to draw and paint and create. i have this strange unique way of journaling & lettering out things mixed with art. i have all of that, and still, i wait. what i think i am waiting for is to find MY voice. what it is that I want to say, or create or do or be. in the way that I want to do it.

so i sit patiently and wait. and sometimes not so patiently and wait. because i know it's there. and i know it's ME that keeps me from it.

but with light there is dark, and with dark i see in its center, the light. i swirl them, mixing the colors on my palette holding my brush in front of the blank canvas and all i can really do is let go. trust that whatever these mixed colors do through my hand will become a painting. this is how it always goes: my within showing up without.

and i will love it. because it will be me. my voice. ♥