a deep trust in life~

The flow. The transition. This moment. The magic it can bring.

What I've been feeling lately and knowing in that space deep inside my heart is that it really is that stillness, the release, that makes a difference in this life. It is the line between control and ease. It is trust in the truest sense of the word.

In the middle of the chaos that surrounds me--the children who need something, the others who are squabbling, the dog chasing the squirrel, the husband coming out of the shower with that look ... and me, just wanting nothing more than to write from my soul--I can be the observer, or I can become a part of it. Each space has a life of its own, and in each moment is a choice.

I know can not control any of it, I only ride along. The wave carries me this way and that, and I cherish those times when my heart takes over and my mind falls away. Everything is surreal then, so beautiful. Perfection.

I can see each thing play out from a place that is high on a mountaintop, and I feel the interplay with my whole being. Peace overcomes, and I allow everyone around me do what is in their souls too from that vantage point, as I release my grip on any of it. On anything and everything. It is liquid. Water, moving on its own, in its own way, and I become as still as I can be. The current owns that space.

Life is just a series of plans. Plans you make that don't come to fruition, or take sharp turns. My life is full to the brim with things I have created. I can choose to look at them with love, because they are mine, or I can kick and scream and try to wrench them into something that they are not, because they are not 'perfect'. Because they're not what I expected or asked for. Because I wanted something different, and my spring vacation didn't go as planned when the money wasn't there yet; or the alone time to write I had hoped for was interrupted by my man or my child or both; or a call with friends didn't happen when the internet was disconnected.

I can question all of this, or I can take the moments as they come, imperfect as they are, and become one with my life the way it is. And in that, I can realize what a gift the flip was: I can love the fluctuation, the movement, the interruption.

That constant flow is alive. It is life force itself. And in the morning light, when the sun comes through the window slats, bringing in a New Day, and the rainbows dance on the wall from the hanging crystals, I open my eyes and whisper Thank You. Still in the dreamy opaque place where intuition and feeling prevails, my soul is stirred. And I get so clearly: Trust life. Let go. Do nothing. Allow.

And inevitably, it always turns out that the plan that didn't go as it was supposed to, becomes a thing of art. When I can slow down the ebb and flow and stop in the moment, not asking for more or think beyond it and become stillness itself, that moment becomes The Magic of Life. Just there in harmony. It is so beautiful my eyes are blinded, but I take a photograph with my heart.

I have found the paradoxes never end in this life. Life is playful and it likes to tell a new story, one you haven't thought of yet. Befriend that.

Trust life. It really is the most beautiful thing.

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