feeling.

i am opening up to the feeling
inside of me.
letting it come
like waves
if need be.
there is beauty
in every curve and crash.
in my heart, i crave
excitement & movement
and yet
i wait.
what am i really waiting for?
the perfect moment?
which is funny
because i know
i KNOW
in my heart of hearts
that each moment is perfection
and holds a space for me
if i am wanting it.
if i am aware.
and then i think
well if that is true
then where i am and what i'm doing
right now
is right
its perfect.
the wait, the calm before the storm
is what is supposed to be happening.
the not knowing what comes next
is trust.
surrender.
why is that so hard for us?
because this is what is so clear to me:
we are those things deep down.
we are little floating light orbs, burning brightly
knowing that the next moment holds miracles
magic
love
and we let it come
in whatever form it deems right.
we don't question or have fear or doubt
we just flow with it.
i want to delve deep
into everything that i am
and let this be okay.
whatever it is, it's okay.
beautiful.
♥

change.

to move or not to move? that is the question.

i am leaning more & more to moving. selling the house and being open to what is to come. this year marks 20 years here in December. that's a lifetime of my children, the only home they remember. our memories are in the walls & whisper in the evergreen branches outside my window. right now, it is US. filled with our family and our thoughts our feelings and our secrets. but it's just a place. it is not the people or the memories themselves. we can have that anywhere we all are, and it's okay to yearn for more. it's okay to move on to other things in other places. we just need to release & allow.

release & allow. my new mantra.

there are beautiful glorious exciting joyful things in the unknown. in the new. in the freedom. let's fly ... together.

***

watching MJ's memorial on tv this morning. i didn't realize it was today, but i woke up with his songs in my head. one of my usual premonitions of what the day ahead will hold. (i am seriously loving that more & more).

it's amazing how many people gather together for this one man: collective love is a beautiful thing.

***

my heart is open. my wings are drying. i'm ready.

dreamland.

dreamland. soft halcyon haze. soft kiss on my lips, my eyes are still closed. he brings his face into my pillow.
wanna make love? he whispers.
i breathe in his scent and start to stretch my arms around him.
*ping* {the cell phone, getting a text}: i love you wife, hope you have a wonderful day

i love how connected we are, even when we are far apart.

***

laying there, i close my eyes. i feel my day ahead. i always get messages then. they easily pop thru the veil & i love connecting with my inner self like that. it's very synchronous and flowy and open. i got: my day = love. and truth comes thru mystery. i felt myself floating in a lake of warm pink water looking up at cotton candy clouds in a beautiful pink sky. soothing comforting love.

things are really chill right now. i am enjoying it. looking forward to our lake trip. family togetherness and fun. my favorite thing. i am really loving me lately. i like the way i look & feel. i like the sunshine and warmth and my tan skin. i like my intuition and creativity. floating thru summertime like a dream. i like it here in dreamland. i think i'll stay for a while...

♥