conversations at the dinner table

{Posted by jouette on October 10th, 2007 in life}

So last night, we all went out as a family to Azteca for dinner. Bub, in his usual 7 ½ year old way, starts chuckling when Andy said a cuss word (I don’t even know what he said or why, probably dropped his fork or something). It’s then that I realize that lately Bub cracks up whenever someone curses. And I, being the brilliant and good mother that I am, decide to ask him about it.

Me: Son, why do you laugh when you hear a bad word?

Bub: I don’t know, it’s just funny.

Me: What is your favorite curse word?

Bub: (giggling) I like them all.

Me: I know you do, stinker. But why?

Bub: (looking up at me, his big brown eyes sparkling) I don’t know, Mom. It’s just funny. Like when you say the BS word.

Me: What? (Sure he was only talking about his foul-mouthed father) I don’t say the BS word!

Bub: Yeah, you do. When you’re on the phone with daddy.

(now everyone at the table is howling)

Me: I do?

Bub: Yep. All the time. (He touches my arm sweetly).

Me: (coughing) I plead the fifth.

Bub: And when you say the DS word.

Me: The DS word?

Bub: Yeah, when you’re driving. It’s like the BS word, but you change the bull part with dumb.

Me: (thinking he’s probably right with that one, but having no good retort) Huh.

Bub: And (laughing) when you use the D word. You say that one when you’re mad.

Me: D word?

Bub: (whispers) Douchebag.

Pea: (in her typical booming voice) Juice Bag? That’s not a bad word! Mommy’s just thirsty. A lot.

the family (and a few tables surrounding us at this point): laughing their asses off

Me: (looking around desperately for waitress with grande margarita)

Crap. That didn’t quite go as I had imagined…