i want to write.

i want to write. i want to bare my soul. i want to flow when i sit here in front of this blank white page with the line, blinking at me, pulsating, waiting...

my dreams are alive lately. i have been paying attention to them and they are just as real as my waking life is. they synch together, one plays off of the other always and in all ways. i am awake in my dreams now, the way i am awake in my life. it's so powerful. i trust them, that they are windows into my soul and that they tell me things, whispered in vanilla clouds and through flashes of light. my intuition grows daily. i follow my feelings, my guidance. i trust me.

***

cupcakes. chocolate whip on top of moist chocolate in little white cups. they sit cooling on the rack in front of the kitchen window; the ones we didn't eat while frosting them, that is. the winter chill is here early this year. blustery weather that makes you want to hybernate. but it is warm and homey in here, we are blessed. Bub & Pea went with me to Target today for clay & paints and the cupcake stuff found its way into the cart. the clay creations are drying in the oven, but Bub & Pea don't want to wait for them to dry, they just want to paint. it's funny how children need to move from thing to thing to thing. when do we grow out of that? maybe we don't and we just try to force ourselves into something we're not.

my children tell me stories while we drive and bake and create. i fall into the abyss of the moment. just being. it feels amazing and magical. they are my teachers and i honor them. all five of them, and my man; not just a family, but a soul family. my dream life of days past, i am living it now. and it's not like anything has changed in the physical sense. we just see the magic now. our eyes are open to the miracles around us. our hearts are open.

thankful.